So the story continues...
October was ending and I was nervous again. I reached out to some company that I thought could offer monetary assistance with mortgages and other housing needs. I found them through internet research, read up on them, looked up their government designator and decided they were legit. Well, "the only assistance we can offer you at this time is planning assistance. We can plan a budget with you..." Ma'am. That's not what I need. Thank you. What I need is income. “God, what are we doing here?” is what I was thinking as she was telling me all the un-useful things she can help me with. So, that was a dud.
It's finally November. We’re three months into this entrepreneurship journey, and I’m looking like “uh, sir? Is this what you had in mind?” Because at this point, I haven't paid my mortgage or my car in 3 months, and my house don't have a garage for me to hide my car in. It's getting realer by the day. I believed in what God showed me though, so I was determined to see this thing through. Mostly. *cries* My pay was long depleted by now, and I couldn’t keep up with my bills anymore. I was really panicking and basically everyday in my prayer time I was begging for a miracle. I just knew they were going to be knocking on my door any day to kick me out and take my car.
At long last, the idea came to me to do food delivery. One of the apps. I couldn't believe no one suggested it to me before, or that it never occurred to me before. I downloaded the app expeditiously, put in my info, got approved in like 20 minutes and felt hope rise inside a little bit. I started doing that, and was able to make a payment on my car. That made me smile. And that made me feel like maybe things were going to start turning around. With that feeling of hope, I filled out a hardship application with the mortgage company. Whew, it was scary, but I owed them people, and with it being three months already and no changes in sight, I had to be mature and make the adult decision. Ultimately, I knew God was in charge, and though I had literally no clue what was happening, I knew deep down that he would keep me.
December. By then, I'd started working at the new shop and I was still driving around with people's food. I still didn't make enough to cover one mortgage payment. Disappointment and frustration. More tears. More prayer, more devotion. I made enough to keep my account out of the negative though. That was great! I had some money to buy Christmas gifts. That was great, too. The year was winding down, so I began thinking about all the things God had been telling me and showing me through all this struggling and forming goals and such for 2023. I tried to write New Year's resolutions and create a vision board, but I had to be real. My vision was obstructed by all the mountains. My faith was affected every time I thought about how messy everything was, how nothing was going how I wanted it to, how low I felt, and how lost I felt. The problem was that I was looking at everything around me, and not looking at my Father, the problem solver. More on that later! I decided I was going into 2023 with Faith though. I was thinking about what kind of life I wanted to live and how even though things were everywhere, I didn't want to be down and struggling, so boldly, I asked God for some experiences. Three trips (with friends or family, I didn’t specify) and three concerts (again, general). I wanted joy, time with people I cared about, and most importantly, to keep making memories. Plus, like I said, I decided I wanted to enter 2023 in Faith, knowing that He would cover all the necessities. I knew I didn't have to ask Him about those… The story picks up and gets really interesting when 2023 starts!
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